From: The Director 69 (10): 18, 20. 1997 Oct.
By David Techner
Every segment of society has its social traditions, including
funeral customs. Even if we have not been exposed to these in person, most of
us are aware of the"Irish Wake," or the Jewish practice of "Sitting
Shiva." Although we may have heard or seen these rituals, too many of us
are unfamiliar with the meaning behind the actions.
To fully understand the wisdom and purpose of the Jewish funeral, one must comprehend
that when death occurs, we are challenged to appreciate and be grateful for
that life that has been lived. From the onset of death, to the funeral and burial,
Jews reflect on life rather than mourn death.
Judaism's response to death comes from a 3,000-year history. Its tenets emphasize
a celebration of life and its basis takes form in providing comfort to the survivors.
Many psychologists believe this approach is most healthy and expedient in dealing
with grief.
Incorporated into these values is what Tevye the Milkman, the main character
in "Fiddler on the Roof," summarized in one word– Tradition!
Generations ago, when the Jewish customs and traditions surrounding death and
grieving were formulated, hospitals, extended-care homes, hospices and other
similar institutions did not exist where death was commonplace. Rather, people
died in their homes, frequently the same homes in which they were born.
It was standard practice to transport the deceased directly from the home to
the cemetery. No funeral homes to contact; no death certificates to obtain and
file; no burial permits to secure; no government agencies to notify.
When death did occur, most often the family was there for support, as much as
for each other as for the deceased. This is why Jewish funerals are conducted
as soon as possible following death– there is no reason to wait.
Jewish tradition has developed a complete and sometimes technical response to
death, from the prayers recited to the preparation of the body for the funeral,
the comfort offered the survivors and to the memory of the deceased.
The most well known, outside Jewish circles, is "Shiva." The seven-day
mourning period (Shiva mean seven in Hebrew) begins after burial. Survivors
concentrate on their inner feelings to begin the healing process and take the
first step into re-entering normal life without the deceased.
During the time between death and burial, known as the period of Aninut, everything
Jews do is designed to celebrate and appreciate life.
Every prayer recited speaks of life, gratitude and appreciation. Even the prayer
"Kaddish," recited in memory of the dead, does not mention the word
death.
Jewish funeral customs include:
*Mitzvot of Bikur Cholim, the act of kindness of visiting sick
*Kavod Ha-Met, honoring the dead
*Shomer, religious watchman praying over the deceased
*Chevra Kadisha, Holy Society who prepares the body for burial
*Taharah, purification
*Takhirkhin, burial shrouds
*Service and Prayers
*Eretz Yisroel, earth from Israel
*Shiva and Yahrzeit, remembrance
The process generally follows along these lines: Before death, the primary focus
is on the needs of the infirmed (Bikur Cholim). When death occurs, the focus
turns to honoring the deceased (Kavod Ha-Met). Judaism equates a dead body with
that of a damaged Torah scroll, no longer fit for its intended use, but still
deserving reverence for the holy purpose it once served.
This is why, from death to burial, the body is never left unattended and the
soul is prayed for by a religious watchman (Shomer). This ancient custom has
provided invaluable comfort to survivors. Also in ancient days, the family immediately
contacted members of a Holy Society (Chevra Kadisha) when a death was confirmed.
The Holy Society's role was to prepare the body for burial according to traditional
Jewish practices. These individuals were truly performing an act of kindness
(Mitzvot), because their actions were performed out of the kindness of their
heart, with no concern or regard for reciprocation. This was the ultimate act
of unselfishness, doing something for another without any ulterior motive.
The Chevra Kadisha also performed the meaningful task of purifying the body,
usually on the morning of burial, with a ritual bath (Taharah). Ecclesiastes
stated, "As he came, so shall he go." Just as a newborn child is immediately
washed and enters this world clean and pure, so shall a person who departs this
world be cleansed and made pure.
In addition to the physical cleansing and preparation of the body for burial,
the Chevra Kadisha also recite required prayers asking God for forgiveness for
any sins that may have been committed by the person who died. Prayers are also
asked for God to receive the soul of the deceased, guard the person and grant
them eternal peace.
The prayers also express a sense of gratitude for the life of the deceased and
all the good that has come as a result of this person's life.
Following the recitation of the prayers required for Taharah is a 2000-year-old
tradition of burial in shrouds (Takhirkhin), preceding the placement of the
deceased in the casket.
This tradition originated in the first century when Rabbi Gamaliel asked that
he be buried in a very simple garment, stating that he came into this world
like everyone else and he should return to God in the same manner.
To that point, the custom was for a rabbi to be buried in his religious robes,
such as he would wear on the Sabbath and High Holy Days. Similarly, the wealthy
would wear their finest clothing. The poor, however, might be ashamed of their
ability to display likewise costly burial clothes.
Rabbi Gamaliel's act of unselfishness brought true democracy to Jewish tradition
and death. Wealthy or not, all are created equal before God; what determines
their reward is not what they could afford to wear on the outside, but the person
they were on the inside.
As a further symbol of Jews' oneness with God and oneness with Israel, the Chevra
Kadisha places ground soil from Israel (Eretz Yisroel) into the casket. It does
not mean the person will be buried in Israel, rather that their body will always
be in contact with the Holy Land.
Many families will bring soil or Jerusalem stones from a visit to Israel. Whether
we supply the family or they bring the bag of soil home from their visit to
Israel, many families are touched by the gesture–connecting them to their
Judaic roots and to our homeland.
For the next seven days, the immediate family will observe a mourning period
(Shiva). For the next year, families will say (Kaddish) in remembrance of the
deceased and each year, corresponding to the date of death (Yahrzeit), Jews
will attend service in a Synagogue and the recite Kaddish.
A Jewish funeral is truly a celebration, an acknowledgment of gifts that were
ours as a result of the life we memorialize.
Copyright Permission Granted By The National Funeral Directors Association.
Updated December 14, 1998 by Webmaster